Hitler was a Douche

It has come to my attention, after watching the movie Valkyrie, that Mr. Adolf Hitler was a douche. Now, I've always known that this fellow was an evil and very douchey man. Yes I said "douchey." But this time was different because in this movie, he simply WILL NOT die! And it really bothered me. I knew he wouldn't die because I, being the history buff that I am, am aware of him blowing his brains out or eating poison or some strange ritual in-between them. And I knew they wouldn't change the true story very much in the movie because they wanted to keep it as realistic as possible... did I mention the entire movie is in English? And not just English. They all had British accents, besides Tom Cruise of course. I mean what the hell? That'd be like the Germans re-enacting a movie about the life of Babe Ruth and the entire thing being in German with a Russian accent. Anyways, he WOULD NOT die! And another thing... There's a scene where they go to Hitler's estate. They enter the room where he is and he's sitting around having a conversation, about God only knows what, and the people are laughing and he's laughing.. Was Hitler a happy person? Did he invent the many Jew jokes that people tell today? He certainly wasn't Jewish. So he couldn't have been THAT funny. (no offense to any Jewish people who aren't funny...if they exist.) It says on my good friend wikipedia that he actually didn't mind Jews for awhile, while he was selling art and being homeless. And then something sort of snapped, maybe? So in the end he was simply a lunatic who had control of an empire. Why does this happen? There are so many accounts throughout history of "the insane kings." But I think I've figured it out... If some crazy dude on the street came up to me and said, "Hey can I be king?" I'd have no choice but to say yes.. Think about it... Would you really tell a crazy person "No, you mofo, you can't be king." I most certainly would not. And therefore I believe that Hitler was the most successful homeless man to ever walk this earth.

The End.